I found that one thing. What I learned, just now, is that it’s important to find that one thing after a big transition. I’ve been freaking out, often, since I’ve been here in Memphis. Wondering if I really made the right decision, can I really teach high school students English, will I ever feel like I fit in this city? Wondering, when, IF EVER, will I have a sense of normalcy, a sense of “this is what I do.” A sense of peace?
Today, I had a little bit of all of that. Just a simple trip to the Benjamin Hooks library. I’ve only gone there twice before. Once was during our scavenger hunt. The time before today was when I got my new library card and actually stayed to do some reading. But today, without hesitation, I packed my bag full of books, grabbed my laptop and a snack, and drove to the library.
I knew where I was going. I’d been there before. I knew what I was doing. I’d done it before. The feeling wasn’t foreign. I wasn’t afraid. I was confident. It felt normal. It felt right. It felt like I was supposed to be there, studying, reading books about teaching. Maybe this is where I should be. Maybe I am supposed to be a teacher.
That one thing, going to that library, gives me a little piece of normalcy. It’s like I have a routine. It makes me feel comfortable and confident.
Yes. It’s simple. But it’s a start.